my-pen-is-a-pistola:

I’m slurring my speech

saying I want you with me.

I assure you, it’s true

but how can you be sure?

I tell you

don’t you know,

that love is the only thing that cannot be measured?

But will it be forever? you ask.

I let a few moments pass,

and tell you 

I can promise tonight, love. 

And you say, well that’s good enough,

I guess. 

thebellow:

I love you
And I don’t
Know you
But you’ll be mine
And I’ll be yours
In time

my-pen-is-a-pistola:

I wrote you three times since Autumn, 

Sarah. 

I didn’t know things were sinking towards the bottom, 

Sarah. 

And my memories are black, 

and I want them back- 

but Sarah, 

I never was good for your soul. 

No, I never figured out how to hold

your glass heart. 

No I dropped it, 

and it all broke apart. 

my-pen-is-a-pistola:

I need to stop.

I need to quit.

Nah, fuck it.

I need a couple more cigarettes.

Just another pack.

I’ll pay the sin tax,

because this habit Is worth the tarred lungs.

They’re just as good as a fist

or a gun,

because they hurt my chest,

and that feels better than all my regrets-

…

my-pen-is-a-pistola:

She grew upon me like a vine,

suffocating from the lack of sunlight.

Like cancer, she covered me from head to toe

searching for some fertile skin,

a good place to grow.

Her roots were in my heart,

a terrible place to start

because when the winds came

she was ripped out and blown away. 

She took my heart with her

and now I cannot be saved.

my-pen-is-a-pistola:

I need to stop it

I need to quit

Nah, fuck it,

I need a couple more cigarettes.

Just another pack,

I’ll pay the sin tax,

Because this habit Is worth the tarred lungs,

it’s just as good as a fist

or a gun

Because they hurt my chest

And it feels better than all my regrets-

physical pain is tangible

but depression is too hard to handle.

You can treat a cut

but you can’t heal what You can’t see.

It’s all what you believe

and I believe I’m stuck.

I’m in a dark place

and I can’t seem to give a fuck.

I don’t know how to heal

so all I do is rob and steal,

Even though all i want

is to feel what it’s like to feel.

Believe me I’ve tried,

and I find that its easier to run and hide,

to find a dark corner in the back of my mind

where these regrets can’t reach,

where it’s okay to be a creep-

where all I can do is bleed,

and all I feel is a pain in my chest…

Where I’m left alone

With nothing but smoke,

Nothing to fear

And no need for hope.

my-pen-is-a-pistola:

Life’s a garden

so let’s grow together.

Let your vines intertwine with mine

so we can be tangled up

and trapped in each others minds.

Place your roots are in my heart

and  bloom into 

my only reason to live.

And if we ever start to cry,

we’ll let the tear drops fall

from our eyes so we can

grow into something more beautiful.

my-pen-is-a-pistola:

I want to be there for you-

to hold your hand-

to wake you with

a smile

and

a kiss-

To put before you

everything you’ve ever missed-

I want you here-

not for the sex-

not for the drunken sex-

but for the warmth of your body next to me-

cuz we both know you get me-

without words-

without syllables

and frequencies-

I just want you here

next to me.

my-pen-is-a-pistola:

Life’s a contradiction

because death will always linger,

but that doesn’t matter with that

ring upon her finger.

Bound by  golden circles,

with diamonds that shimmer,

in her eyes,

death seems a little slimmer,

because I know I am loved.

(via alexandhissubmissivepet)